10 days

* In ten days it will be two years since my daughters murder, I think of her everyday sadly or with joy depending where I am in that day, but as the anniversary of the day my heart was ripped to shreds and my mind took a turn  towards insanity comes closer, my thoughts and emotions are nearer to the surface, so I ask your indulgence as I become more maudlin and tire you with my grief.

Seeing your smile in this old photograph

I feel your presence right here with me

Feeling the love we shared so deep

Old letters and cards sent many years ago

Bring back sweet memories

For birthdays, Mother’s Day or Just Thinking
I am filled with a warmth and love.

These things are all I have left of you

They quiet my spirit and bring me peace
I remember the laughter and tears we shared

I wonder where you are now, heaven yes

But perhaps your spirit is here for I feel you
So many times near, are you here?

Are you the single rose among the weeds?

The Whippoorwill singing in the old tree

The wind dancing with the leaves or
Mayhap clouds of gray turning to a
Stormy sky or gentle cleansing rain

Revealing a rainbow of color when done.
Are you the butterfly that touched my cheek
the foggy mist reaching over the mountaintop?

Or the snowflakes falling today?
Are you the new puppy licking my feet
the kitten mewing in the bushes or
the flash of a rainbow trout in a mountain stream?

Your presence I feel in my heart

No matter the form you choose to be

You are with me and I rejoice

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